How my world has forever changed…every day I wake up and think to myself how the heck did I get so lucky?  I can’t wrap my head around it.  I feel SO grateful.  I think back to those days of the deepest pain I have ever experienced and some how it all makes sense.  Tim always told me we were going to be first time parents to a little girl and it wasn’t going to happen until she was sent our way..boy was he right.

This little nugget was meant to be my baby. I remember the day of our transfer when they told us that out of our 11 embabies all of them died except for two (one they transferred who is now Harlow and the other snug as a bug in the freezer) I thought I would never get to be a mom.  I cried and cried and cried and the doctor and nurses literally had to hold me down and say, “If you keep moving you’re going to lose this one too…” I sat there dead still.  Devastated and so afraid.

Looking back today, in this exact moment, I honestly believe that my struggle made me 1 million times more grateful.  Every single second with her is a gift.  When she wakes me up in the middle of the night, when she won’t stop crying, when she looks me in the eyes and smiles..I die.  I think back to some of the things that once used to be a bother to me and I laugh now knowing how irrelevant they are.  This child has been the greatest gift she has already taught me so much.  For you sisters still struggling, promise me you won’t ever give up okay? The fight is so worth it. You’re miracle is coming in one way or another…..

Okay sorry I know you’re here for her two month update! How on earth is she two months?  This little doll is seriously surreal.  If you have us on snapchat (add us if you don’t!) you know she has the brightest eyes ever, chubbiest little cheeks and such a full bottom lip.  She still has very little hair and the tinniest little body (still wearing newborn outfits).  

She weighs 9lbs 3oz and is 21 inches long.  She is starting to track but mostly just her daddy and I.  She loves her baths, tummy time and cuddling in our arms.  She smiled for the fist time and I literally bawled so hard, and so did her daddy! How are we so blessed.  She has her last feed at midnight and doesn’t wake up until 6am, bless her little heart.  Every day I wake up and see her next to me and feel like the richest human in the whole entire world.  

Harlow unfortunately has an umbilical hernia which needs some more attention. I am in shock of how calm I am as a first time mother.  I’m usually quite a worried person and it seems since having her I have chilled out a lot.  I knew umbilical hernias are completely common and normal and waited until her 6 week appointment to mention anything to her doctor.  It wasn’t bothering her and I could still hear bowl movements through it so I knew it was okay. Well, when I showed it to him he was a little surprised at the size of it.  It is pretty huge (golf ball ish haha) and decided it would be best to send her to the children’s hospital to have a surgeon decide what the best plan for it would be. We are heading there tomorrow so you can follow us on snap if you want an update earlier than her next monthly update.  If they suggest surgery for cosmetic reasons only then I will obviously refuse but if for some reason it is at risk of getting stuck then it is going to be an emotional decision for the both of us.  

We are still getting out a lot because we know this little newborn stage isn’t going to last forever and before we know it she’ll be a little handful.  She loves being in her carseat so much so eating out is really easy.  But let’s get real, no one lets her stay in there for too long.  She is very content now that we have established an effective eating plan and she is on Bio Gaia probiotics.  

She is breastfeeding so amazingly and my milk has regulated so no more pumping, bottles or using a shield. Which I’m like…can we get those bottles back again? Haha I’m kidding! Tim misses feeding her but this is the easiest for us all.  Somedays I literally have to lay down to feed her dependent on my milk flow but otherwise she is doing amazing.  Our little vegan.. (hahaha..)

My incision has healed beautifully and my core is starting to feel a little more normal, tiger stripes and all! I’ll have to share a photo one day of just how extensive they are and how proud I am. I dreamed of being able to get stretch marks from a pregnancy for years and though I cried a little bit (or a lot a bit) I am seriously so grateful they are there because of her.  

I still have 12 lbs to lose! Somebody save me..haha 7 of that is from the IVF process and the rest if from too many burritos but I am on a mission to get it off.  You can join my newest adventure at @conveyhealthyliving.  It’s a community of people who I am bringing together to get healthier one day at a time.  Mind, body and soul.  Make sure to add us to see what we have in store for the new year.  We are also running a challenge from now until Christmas and would love to have you be part of it.  Health and fitness is truly one of my greatest passions so I am excited to share some of that publicly since I’m usually super private in this area. I know no body really cares what workout I just did (lolzzz) so I’m doing it more as something we can do together.  I just love you guys!

We have loved sharing some of our moments with Harlow and I feel so blessed to have you all here with us.  Thank you so much for stopping by and hope your December has been beautiful.  

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