HONEST MOTHERHOOD

Myself: Lace Top, White Jeans (Similar Here or Here), Flats,
Harlow: Top (Similar Here), Tights, Moccasins, Lace Bow 

6 Months with this little bean, how is it even so?  Half a year with you and it feels like I can’t even remember life without you.  

You Miss Harlow Lace 

You started solids and are loving asparagus, lentils, chickpeas, quinoa, avocado, peanut butter,  banana, and broccoli.  You’re sitting up, laughing, and love playing in your skip hop play centre and your jolly jumper.  Oh, your jolly jumper.  I need to go take a video right now before I forget.  This is the jumpy thing you see us use on snapchat in case you’re interested.  I’m surprised by how many people don’t know what a jolly jumper is, these things are so fun. (oh yes, not everyone believes in them, but we do 🙂 and that’s cool).

You’re still nursing and have started sleeping in your own room which has been a hard transition for mommy but you seem to be thriving with your own space.  You like your sleep like mom + dad both do!  I think we were waking each other up throughout the night so you are doing so good in there.  You love swimming, reading books and bath time and your two yorkies even though they are a little indifferent to your loud noises and fast motions.  You’re wearing 0-3 and 3-6 month clothes, size 2 diapers and 0-3 month shoes.  Your a little itty bitty with some pretty cute cheeks.  You’re 14 lbs and going up the charts at the doctors office, no longer below the 3 percentile. 

You sure love your mom right now… =] like so much she can’t even walk away for two minutes to go pee…

Myself 6 months postpartum

Still 10 beautiful pounds heavier.  Postpartum hair loss growing in strong (not really lol).  Stretch marks just as visible and embracing it all.  In love with this new life of mine and this new body of mine.  I watch all the other moms on Instagram and honestly wonder how they do it.  No stretch marks, perfect bods, all the energy in the world and yet I’m happy. All I want to do is sit back and enjoy this quiet days with you.  Sleep in and cuddle with you and enjoy the tiny age.  I’ll tell you right now, I’m not going to be one of those super moms who can do it all. In the past six months we’ve had a lot of jammie days with no makeup, and I’m sure the next six will kinda look the same.  To me, thats beautiful and I hope you feel the same.

Pulling back from scrolling my feed on Instagram has been such a joy.  I’ve noticed how much more fulfilled my life has felt.  I don’t want you to ever remember me as absent and not present because I was too busy watching everyone else live their life instead of living our own.  Gosh girls, it’s life changing.

Of course I’m missing a lot of you who inspire and encourage me but it has felt so grounding, more honest to who I really am.  I totally got caught up in the world of doing what I felt like I was supposed to be doing and it was so draining.  I love this online community.  We’ve experienced growth, failures, successes, infertility, pregnancy, and motherhood together.  At the end of the day, my number one goal will always be to live in my present day life.  I still make an effort at the end of every day to sit down and take a second to connect with you all because you’re the ones who gave me a lot of strength when I needed it and I feel honoured some of you feel the same from myself.  I honour each and everyone of you. 

I still love documenting the good days.  The moments I never want to forget.  These are of course the things I want to remember forever.

Sometimes I feel guilty because it is my highlight reel and everything looks so wonderful and I’m always trying to be honest about where I’m really at.  Far from perfect and just figuring it out like any other first time mom.  Or maybe mom in general for that matter.  Motherhood is exhausting, selfless, messy, confusing and sometimes even your very best doesn’t feel good enough.

The last thing I ever want to put into the universe is a superficial, faux existing life.  So here’s to all the tired eyes, flappy skinned, running on coffee and the same outfit for the last three days, kind of moms.  You guys are kind of my favourite.      

As for you Lolo Lace, you’ve been so much fun. Thank you for these past 6 months.  Oh thank you sweet girl.